by atai @ 23:17 | Filed under: baby
This afternoon, we went back to University Malaya Medical Centre (UMMC), formerly known as University Hospital. Seraphine’s hospital bill had arrived in our mailbox last week. We decided to settle the bill today as well as to thank the team at UMMC for doing their best for our Seraphine. We also wanted to thank Professor Lum for all that she had done.
We bought two fruit baskets. One for our doctor and her team of nurses who had attended to Mrs Tai during the ultrasound sessions. Mrs Tai had told me lots of wonderful things about the team when she was there. They were very helpful and friendly. The other was for Professor Lum and her team at the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit. They had been very accommodating and understanding. They were very diligent, caring and had attended to Seraphine (and the other babies in PICU) with all their hearts. We know that. And like Saraphine’s chinese name (Ern, æ©), we are grateful to everyone.
When we dropped by the PICU, Professor Lucy was in. She looked shocked to see us but she remembered us and asked how are we getting on… We told her what we would tell to our family and friends… We are as ok as we can be at the moment. We wish things had turned out otherwise but it didn’t. We have accepted the fact and we are adjusting to it.
Visiting the PICU brought back memories. Painful ones. As we entered, we saw a family sitting where my family was seated just a few weeks back. I could see this lady crying as she spoke on the phone. I know how it feels to have one’s child lying in PICU. I can only pray that everything turns out well for this lady and her child. And how I wish I had walked up to her this afternoon and told her that her child is the hands of a very good team!
We still have a few more items to sort out for Seraphine. After all the items are sorted out (my guess would be by next week), it would be our ‘closing’. It does not mean we will forget Seraphine but just that we have to start moving on…
OMG wat happened ???? I have completely no idea. I only realise this when Dean Arif asked me to check the main site. So sorry for you atai. This should not have happened to you. I am sure that it has been a painful experience.
Perhaps it is not my position to say and also may be a little too soon to say. But I think that you should just give up in this whole baby thing. It will just bring back bad memories. Babies are not for you. There are some things in life which you have to accept that does not belong to you. For me Seaport is never for me.
You and Mrs should go on a long trip to the Bahamas, USA and have a break for 1 month, just to chill out and eventhough life without a kid can be great too. Don’t think too much about babies anymore. Not for you. Move on with life. If you need a kid in he future, just adopt one. If it does not work out the way you plan, simply return him/her to the adoption agency. No strings attached.
So sorry for you atai. Hope that your Mrs is OK. Move on just move on. Enjoy life, go travelling the two of you and this whole baby business will be over sooner than you think. You have to accept the fact that babies is not for you. It is a cruel fact but hey from my seaport’s experience, life aint no fairy tale and life is cruel. You just need to ride the bull and cling on to survive.
Comment by Yan — Friday, 20 June, 2008 @ 14:06
http://www.bahamas.com/bahamas/index.aspx have fun. Forget about this whole baby thing. Perhaps for you is travelling, go to mamak with seaportarians, watch tv, service PCs at work. And that is ALL there is to it. You are happy all this while, should keep and maintain it that way. Most important is that you are happy !
Certain things are just not for you like babies are not for you. Sorry that you had to find out the hard way but hey that is life, full of cruelty and unfairness.
Comment by Yan — Friday, 20 June, 2008 @ 15:00
And of course you have Dean Arif to keep you company. Have a drink and so on. I am sure that he is happy to go to mamak with you eventhough he is 50++ , hehehe.
Comment by Yan — Friday, 20 June, 2008 @ 15:03
I understand how you feel at this moment. It’s very sad and not easy to forget the whole thing. Just go for a long vacation and also focus on your new house. After everything have settle down, maybe then you can think to have another baby in your life. Please don’t give up hope. I almost gave up hope for this pregnancy after almost 2 years of trying. God will give you at least one. Just wait for the time.
I’m totally disagree with Yan about future baby plans and also about adoption. You can’t simply adopt and return the child if you find not suitable. These kids are not toys for sale or for rent! It’s very cruel and not fair to the child.
Do you know it’s so hard to adopt a child in europe? At least 3-5 years of waiting. Maybe you have encounter bad experience but please don’t tarnish the hope of other parents to be.
Comment by Lannie Loke — Friday, 20 June, 2008 @ 19:48
hi Lannie… no worries, both of us are handling it quite well. we’re coping and we’re doing fine.
have also emailed you some extra info which i think you should be aware… check your hotmail!
Comment by atai — Friday, 20 June, 2008 @ 21:47
Woohh…from reading Yan’s comments, it felt like a sharp knife stabbing into the core of my heart…I probably don’t know you as well as Yan, and I do not know Yan…but it sure feels hurt to know you are told to “give up”…whatever the previous history was, if there’s one before Seraphnie…Maybe “give up” is a strong word to use, in these SENSITIVE periods… But even WORST…telling someone to adopt then “RETURN” if it doesn’t work out—NO STRINGS ATTACHED???? Gosh, KIDS are HUMAN BEING..they are NOT a MERCHANDISE, for crying out loud! Seaport IS A SCHOOL— it can work for some and not for others, like your clothes, your shoes, a restaurant, a house, even a country, and THAT IS FINE…but if a couple who LOVES kids,and are mature, resposible and/or stable to have, how can it NOT work for them (whether conceiving or adopting)? Adoption IS definitely a GOOD alternative for those who, for some unfair reason, cannot conceive, or have healthy child. But “to SIMPLY return an ORPHAN to the agency” because an irresponsible adult wanted to “try how it is to have a child” ???— that is just a PURE DISGUSTING suggestion! Maybe Yan doesn’t know that those who chose to adopt are usually people who’d LOVE to have kids but unable to have, that’s y they turn to adoption agency …Maybe Yan doesn’t know that the kids in a adoption agency are left there by their biological parent(s) because for whatever reason, they are unable to provide the child with good care, that is y they have to give up the child, in hope that some KIND AND RESPONSIBLE adult/parents are able to provide the child with a better place and a CHANCE in LIFE!!!
YES, life is cruel and is unfair,but WE can choose NOT TO BE CRUEL TO EACH OTHER. AND you don’t just FORGET, and you DO NOT JUST RETURN!! You learn, you cry, you grow, you accept, you re-evaluate, and YOU MOVE ON,— you don’t just run away from it, you DEAL WITH IT, YOU DEAL WITH THE PAIN, YOU DEAL WITH THE SADNESS, YOU DEAL WITH THE FACTS OF LIFE AND EVEN THE CRUELTY OF LIFE, AND YOU BECOME A STRONGER PERSON… BUT YOU NEVER JUST RUN AWAY TO SOME HULA -HULA PLACE AND FORGET the special moments you shared with your love ones.
Of course, some people can go thru life without having kids and are still happy…but THIS IS JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME to talk about whether TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE KIDS. It just breaks my heart, to hear someone say to not only give up, and forget, but worst of all, return the child if one choses to adopt, and doesn’t work out!!
I’m just glad that you and Mrs. Tai are handling the situation as well as you can, and taking one step at a time …to move on…. May Peace be with ALL of US!
Comment by Jenny — Saturday, 21 June, 2008 @ 6:14
hi jenny… i have emailed you something. check your gmail…
i would also like to share this tiny bit of information to all my visitors about this term called “troll“. Wikipedia explains:
An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of baiting other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.
Comment by atai — Saturday, 21 June, 2008 @ 14:57
Thanks Adrian for the info. Actually , all the while I thought Yan is a female. No wonder he thinks that way. Anyway, tell him to ‘grow up’. I’m sure he’s in his 30’s and single, rite? Ny the way, do I know him from primary school?
Comment by Lannie Loke — Saturday, 21 June, 2008 @ 19:02
I am speechless to read Yan’s comment. Totally unnecessary. One may claim life is better without own kids. COme on. Wait till you are about 50s or 60s. Check out some of the advertisement that touches on human value…..
Comment by tengster — Sunday, 22 June, 2008 @ 11:29
Hi all,
It is not about being cruel of anything but sometimes things are not meant to be. I hate to be the person who have to say this but I am very realistic. May be that is also why the reason people do not like me very much. I do not like to build castles in the air.
It is a sad thing to loose the child. The pain and h hurt. Why do one want to go through the PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN hoping to get a better result ?? Like my experience with Seaport, there is no point trying so hard over and over and over again to be a club president or someone important there, forget it, it is not meant to be. Hence for me I ventured out of seaport and into samad and I found a bunch of guys who likes RC cars and that made me happy in the end. And for me I always believe that there are things that are not meant to be.
I did noy say not having kids or give up …. but adrian can adopt a kid from other countries. Why not ??? Angelina Jolie does it and it worked well for her. Life is unfair . . . . . and it is not because we are being unfair to one another. It is faith that made it unfair. If life is sooo unfair ??? Then why should we play fair ??? Be creative , bend the rules but not break it.
For me seaport is a place of ignornance and people simply ignore you . . . . because of everything they see fit. I took this as an opportunity to venture out and make aliances with other schools behind their back. Bend the rules !!!! In the same time giving my fellow seaportarians the illussion that their scheme have worked out just fine. But in reality it all completely failed but it is good to give them that illussion so that they do not interfere with your plans
I have learnt one very important lesson from seaport and that is .
IF ONE THING OR ONE WAY DO NOT WORK OUT, TRY ANOTHER WAY OR METHOD. Think outta the box and to HELL WITH THE NORM. For me RESULTS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METHOD !!!
For atai’s case if genetic engineering is the only way for him to have a kid although it breaks all the rules of religion, SO BE IT !!!!
Comment by Yan — Sunday, 22 June, 2008 @ 23:12
As a summary . . . . Life is cruel , so in order to survive we need to be more aggressive and break more traditions and the normal practice.
But for atai . . . . he should go somewhere and erase his pain.
Comment by Yan — Sunday, 22 June, 2008 @ 23:15
Lots of celebritys are adopting and returning when they see the child does not fit or something. Check this out . . . you can also do this ….
http://www.dizzyjules.blogspot.com/
It works for her and all she need to do is pay RM 50 and she gets to write to these myanmmar girl. And to say that not having kids is immature, this girl is 40 and she is not even married
But life for her is good I guess . Get to go to BALI, enjoy vacation, not so many burdens. She gets all the good stuffs in life minus the hassle of maintaining it. Hahaha now that is what I call by success. Where as failure means you get all the maintenance work and all the sadness while that thing u maintain is not giving you happiness.
Comment by Yan — Monday, 23 June, 2008 @ 8:49
look at that, she is sooo happy going out for a treasure hunt. and quite a hot girl too. http://www.friendster.com/photos/34628928/0/390572420#pic=00757317278
Comment by Yan — Monday, 23 June, 2008 @ 8:52
does she look 40 ??? i guess not.
Comment by Yan — Monday, 23 June, 2008 @ 8:52
do things more efficiently. and do it for yourself. then you will be happier and more full filled. that is why some people who are always unhappy, they look old faster. people who has gone through lotsa burden or hard life gets old faster while people who does things efficiently and cut few corners , no burdens are happier and they do not look old. people who has a temper get angry easy tend to have health issues.
Comment by Yan — Monday, 23 June, 2008 @ 8:55
and lannie . . . you should be more open and not so self centered. from what you said i think you just hang around with ur husband and small circle of people. sad sad sad.
Comment by Yan — Monday, 23 June, 2008 @ 8:57