Virginia Shea explains netiquette as

Simply stated, it’s network etiquette — that is, the etiquette of cyberspace. And “etiquette” means “the forms required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be required in social or official life.” In other words, Netiquette is a set of rules for behaving properly online.

These days, most websites are very ‘interactive’. They will either have a forum or a place for visitors to leave comments. Making a site interactive is important as it allows for two-way communication and indirectly, it helps increase the site traffic (visitors will return to check on replies, etc). A high site traffic is good for commercial sites as it usually translate to good revenue from advertisements. It also means the site is ‘popular’.

However, many seem to have forgotten their manners and rational thinking when it comes to the internet. Maybe people think they are anonymous when they don’t use their real identity (actually, one is not that anonymous on the net — the authorities can actually trace you if they want to). It’s not that difficult to see people calling one another “stupid”, “moron” or even worse on the internet. It’s very common in online forums. You can also see that in the comments section of some of the more popular sites.

The same happens in social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. I have seen many who get agitated over computer games on Facebook!

While it is good to be passionate about something we love or have feelings for, we should always remember not to get too emotional. We should remember that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. We should always respect this right and worst case, we agree to disagree.

I’ve seen my fair share of such encounters — people YELLING (i.e. using CAPS) at you when you miss out on their reply, people accusing you of being biased, etc when you do move their posts (as a moderator, I need to maintain some kind of order in the forum and at times, I need to move posts to the relevant topics or delete when required), people starting to ignore you in REAL LIFE after a ‘disagreement’ online, etc…

When I look back at all these, I sometimes wonder if these people are like that in real life? Do they YELL at their friends for asking a ’silly’ question? Are these people so easily offended to the point that they write-off friendships over small disagreements? Do these people go around calling people names and using profanities just because others have different views?

Just sharing some of the ‘core rules‘ as listed by Virginia Shea in her book Netiquette (you can find the online copy here).
Rule 1: Remember the Human
Rule 2: Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life
Rule 3: Know where you are in cyberspace
Rule 4: Respect other people’s time and bandwidth
Rule 5: Make yourself look good online
Rule 6: Share expert knowledge
Rule 7: Help keep flame wars under control
Rule 8: Respect other people’s privacy
Rule 9: Don’t abuse your power
Rule 10: Be forgiving of other people’s mistakes

So, next time you are in an online forum or posting a comment, be mindful. Remember that there’s always a human behind it all — OK, there’s the exception when it comes to spambots with the purpose of trolling, but that’s another story.

Malaysia starts the new year by going back to the stone age…

Even the judiciary website is not spared!

So much for 1Malaysia…

There is a very interesting radio advertisement that is currently playing on MY FM (not sure if its playing on other channels). It goes something like this…

A mother goes into this shop and asks the shopkeeper…
Mother: I need some vitamins and supplements for my growing kids. Is there anything else you can recommend?
Shopkeeper: Hmmm… Naturel cooking oil.
Mother: Naturel cooking oil?
Shopkeeper: Yes. Having home cooked meal at least once a day is the best thing growing kids can ever have.
Mother: I know… But you know the nature of my job… I have to do overtime all the time…
Shopkeeper: Oh… I see. Earning money is more important than your kids’ health…
(There was an awkward silence)
Mother: I don’t mean it that way…
Shopkeeper: I know… I understand. So, do you still want the oil?
Mother: Yes…
Shopkeeper: You have the time to cook for them?
Mother: I will find the time to cook for my kids…

I like this advertisement because it really reflects how most of us would be these days…

We ‘reason’ to ourselves that we need to earn lots of money so we can give our kids a ‘good’ life. But is life for the kid ‘good’ if they hardly see their parents? Is life really ‘good’ if the kid sees the maid more than the parents? Like the mother in the radio advertisement, its really an excuse rather than a reason.

We always say there will still be time… I’ll still be around. After I find enough money, I’ll retire and spend time with them… Here’s a poser… If you have only ONE year to live, are you going to spend that one year trying to make as much money as possible, or spend that one year with your loved ones?

And here’s something else to reflect on…
If your kids know you’re leaving them with rm10 million each when you die, don’t you think they’ll want you to die as soon as possible?

If you have nothing for them when you leave but can only spend time with them while you’re still around, don’t you think they’ll want you to be around ‘always’?

Money left behind will not really remind them of you. Your kids may have a good life while they still have some money to spend. Once its gone, they have to start working and earning more money. There won’t be much of ‘you’ for them to remember and cherish… But time spend with them… It lasts as long as they live…

And it’s not just with the kids. The same goes for our other family members… Believe it or not, time spent together is always worth more than any money one can ever make.

Pregnancy is an amazing ‘thing’. Well, I’m not referring to the process of getting pregnant here… Grrrrr…

What I’m talking about is ‘watching’ life grow inside someone and develop into a human in nine months…

In the first trimester starts off relatively ‘quiet’. Usually when one realises about the pregnancy, it’s already about 4 weeks… And if you’re ‘unlucky’, that is also the time when morning sickness probably starts to rear its ugly head. Mrs Tai was unfortunate is this sense — she suffered quite bad morning sickness in both pregnancies. And it went on even longer than just the first trimester.

But then again, first trimester just seems to pass so quickly.

Then the body starts to change. For some, you can probably start to see the tummy… The pregnancy starts to show. During the second trimester, visits to the hospital becomes more fun. If the doctor does an ultrasound scan, you can actually ’see’ the baby. Well, at least that’s what everyone says… I’m no expert. Most of the time, when the doctor points out and says something like “That’s the head…”, I just nod in agreement. Hey, the doctor’s the expert…

Towards the end of the second trimester, you can probably start to see the baby moving around in the tummy…

Third trimester… Tummy grows even bigger… It gets more difficult to move about… The baby’s movements becomes even more obvious… You can sometimes see bulges coming up… Then moving all over the tummy area…. It can be quite fun watching the sporadic movements… And when you look at it and think about it, you realise… This is such a marvelous, amazing and ‘miraculous’ event…

Photo from: wikimedia.org

Ean Yong’s political secretary dead at MACC HQ
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/32490-ean-yongs-political-secretary-dead-at-macc-hq-

SHAH ALAM, July 16 – The Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission’s (MACC) controversial probe into several DAP assemblymen’s activities was thrown into more turmoil today with the death of political aide Teoh Beng Hock at the anti-graft authority’s Selangor headquarters.

The 30-year-old’s death will put more pressure on the MACC, which has been accused by the opposition of conducting selective investigations.

By 9pm tonight, a crowd had gathered at the scene for a candlelight vigil in his memory, which soon grew into a protest with angry chants of “Najib pembunuh, BN zalim, BN jahanam” (murderer Najib, cruel BN, go to hell, BN)and “Reformasi!”

Teoh, the political secretary of Seri Kembangan assemblyman Ean Yong Hian Wah, was taken in for questioning by the MACC yesterday at its 14th floor office in Plaza Masalam in Shah Alam.

MACC said he was freed but his body was later found sprawled on the roof of a five-storey building next door.

This is really shocking. The circumstances leading to his death had caused me great unease. What is happening? Teoh is supposed to get married the next day… I am speechless…

Common courtesy seems to be uncommon these days.

A year ago, I had a lady visitor from Australia. She remarked how Malaysian guys do not behave very gentlemen-like. They don’t hold the doors for the ladies, they shove and push around, they don’t say ‘excuse me’ when they accidentally knock you, etc (some also applies to Malaysian women as well).

I started to be more aware and would always observe how Malaysians behave. What my lady visitor had remarked was quite true.

In my office block, we sometimes use the staircase (and as you know, the doors to the stairs are usually fire-rated doors and can be quite heavy). I have seen guys who walk in front letting the door close even though they know there are ladies behind them. The doors would start to close and it would actually require more effort from the ladies behind to keep the door open (since the door is closing towards them).

On the other hand, I have seen Mat Salleh (local term for white person) actually holding the door open for the ladies (and even guys). It doesn’t matter that the ladies are still quite far back. They can just hold and wait. All these at the same office block where you see Malaysian guys slamming the door on ladies’ faces.

Another example would be invitations. I have to say that it is not easy organising a gathering or even a wedding dinner. You can send out invitations asking for a reply or RSVP, but there will be those who just could not be bothered to reply. You end up having to call them and ask if they can make it. One should be happy and grateful that your friends have not forgotten you and is actually inviting you to their event. So why behave is such stuck-up manner?

Worse are the ones whom you call and they then reply saying “I’m not sure of my plans yet”. These are the people whom I seriously wonder — do they make their plans or their plans make them? If you’re in control of your life, you should be able to plan out your activities (barring any emergencies, of course).

A few weeks back, I sent out a text message to more than 50 friends. The text message read “Gathering time! 30th April (Thu). Next day is a holiday. Tentative plan is to 2meet fr 7pm onwards @ Louisiana, Kelana Jaya. Plse confirm (reply cost <10sen). TQ.”

I only got like 22 replies. That’s less than 50%.

I particularly liked how this friend of mine replied after I sent another two text message reminders to him. His reply was “Ok..since u spend 30 cents dy.. Ok la.. I’m coming.”

Who needs enemies when you have great friends like this?? But well, I have known this guy since primary school — It’s only him to be like that.

Anyway, see you guys tonight.

The past few days reminded me of the time when Mrs Tai was pregnant with Seraphine. Yes, its close to a year now…

I never realised how bad morning sickness could be. She was totally unable to work or do anything. She could hardly sleep. Everything she ate came out shortly after. You could say her favourite hang out during pregnancy was the toilet bowl.

We considered ourselves lucky as her parents offered to take care of her. Nothing beats having your family pamper you so Mrs Tai took up the offer and stayed at her parent’s place for a few weeks. They cooked for her, got her everything she needed — new and dry clothes, water, snacks, etc…

This made me realise the importance of the family bond. A family is where we support one another and offer unconditional love. It is a place where you know you’re always welcomed. I realised this even more when we moved out to our new place. A new couple all alone — we’re not that far away from our families but still, we’re no longer in the same roof.

What happens when one falls sick and desperately needs help? Who can you turn to when your family is far away or no longer around. When I think of all this, I’m just glad that during my one year in England, I didn’t really have any major problems or got myself terribly sick. I remember there was only one occasion when I had to visit the doctor, it was during my graduation and my mum had brought the virus over when she came to England — she was just recovering from a very bad flu.

Thinking even more… I really have to respect my friends and relatives who migrated overseas. They must be feeling very lonely at times. I know we can make new friends but somehow, it’s just different from a family. You don’t stay with your friends just because you are having morning sickness or a very bad flu.

Friends of Seaport site is something I started a few years back as a way of keeping track of my school friends. It was my way of keeping track of my friends and getting in touch with them. I used to ask around for contacts and also permission to post the updates on the site. It was no easy task.

However, it is quite disappointing to see how it was abused. Not too long after I added a chat box, I started receiving complaints about some rude and perverted visitor. I decided to take down the chat box after that.

Facebook eventually took over the role of gathering news and updates about students who have graduated from Sekolah Menegah Seaport (now known as Sri Permata). I know of a few groups dedicated to Seaport.

However, I decided not to take down Friends of Seaport as I see there are still people checking the website (from search results).

Yesterday, I received a text from a school friend I had featured in Friends of Seaport. She requested I take down the article about her. She said she’s received some disturbing phone calls.

I was quite sure I knew who was ’stalking’ her… It would not have been the first time I received such a complaint. I gave that friend a call and asked for more details. First thing I did was ask if it was that guy and she said yes.

Isn’t it amazing that we’re all more than 30 years old now and we still have people who behave is such sick and perverted manner?

This guy had actually called up her college to find out about her details, harrassed her colleagues and even had the guts to ask her sexually-oriented questions (through instant messaging — yes, this school mate thought the pervert would have changed by now — after all, we’re all adults). How sick can one get?

I would think that at this age and time, if a pervert wants to have a good time, all he needs to do is just pay for the service. I’m sure this guy is smart enough to know where to look for such thing. There’s no need to go stalking your school mates — this is one reason why I think our government should be more open like Singapore. You have more than a million sexually active foreign workers and you expect them to be quietly working here in Malaysia?

I can only suggest this to my regular visitors… If you’re ever stalked by such pervert, please do not hesitate to call the police. Instant messaging, comments left of blogs, etc… All these are traceable. Even if someone were to use a proxy server, if requested by the law, they will produce the records. Yes, the ISPs and telcos do keep records of who has accessed what site, etc…

You never know what perverts can do… One day, they might just show up INSIDE your room… I’m not kidding! I’m quite sure this pervert I know can do that…

To me, being a friends means being there for someone when they need it… Sometimes being there even when they say they don’t need it — but in this case, it requires some skills to make yourself ‘invisible’.

Being a friend to someone does not mean trying to change their way of thinking. Being a friend is not about telling your friend what is wrong. It is about giving advice (your opinion) and then providing support to them, regardless of whether they take your advice or not.

I guess many fail at this — sometimes I do too. As a ‘friend’, we think that our opinion is correct and that if our ‘friend’ does not follow, this means they are ‘wrong’. We end up nagging them and trying to change their thinking. By doing this, we ultimately push our friend away.

I have seen a few cases where a friend gets into a relationship with someone that the rest of the friends (myself included) thinks its the wrong choice. As ‘friends’, we then tell that friend of ours that its wrong, it will be painful and that things will not work out. We nag, we scold, we preach…

But who are we to say what is right or not? If a friend decides that is what he or she wants, at most we can do is share our concerns. But if our friend wants to proceed, we should then support the friend and provide all the help and guidance. Instead of saying the relationship will not work out, we should try to share how to make a relationship work and last!

Correct?

I came into the office this morning and as usual, I… Turned on my computer… Then I started to check my emails… What?! My company has just issued a travel ban to India! Why!? And like every morning, I decided to quickly check out Google news…

What? Terrorist attack in Mumbai, India? More than 80 had died in the attack… I’m terribly saddened by the news. How can anyone actually harbour so much of HATE to they point they are willing to kill another fellow human being? I read about how the attackers started to ‘hunt’ for people with American and British passports…

I think back of the times when my teachers used to teach us values such as understanding, forgiving, etc… How many of us actually still practice these values? I don’t think any religion teaches us to hate those who do not believe in the same religion. And I just don’t understand why we have become so narrow-minded to the point that we cannot accept other people’s views, opinion and beliefs… Can’t we just agree to disagree and leave it as it is? I guess not. I guess many prefer to follow the mis-guided idea that “You’re either with us, or against us“. And I thought we lived in a world that’s not just black-or-white…

I guess in the end, it’s not the environment who kills us… We are the ones who will be killing ourselves…