For most companies, SOP stands for Standard Operating Procedures. But for some, they actually stand for Silly Operating Procedures.

I can easily give examples of how these SOPs are designed by people who are not in touch with reality. For example, last year when a tenant moved out in a hurry, I did what was considered the SOP — call the utility companies and check to make sure all bills are paid, etc… One of them was of course Telekom Malaysia. They said there were some outstanding payments. I told them that my tenant had actually ‘migrated’ and will no longer be using their services. My tenant was no longer in Malaysia and could not be contacted. I advised Telekom Malaysia to immediately terminate the phone and broadband services.

Telekom Malaysia then told me that their SOP does not allow anyone other than the customer to request for termination. I can understand the logic behind this… Eventually, the phone service was terminated but not the broadband. When I asked again much later, they said broadband services had to be separately terminated. And if the user does not issue a termination notice (or do not realise the termination notice is separate), the service will still be active. The thing is, the broadband service requires a phone line. So I asked if there is no phone line, how can the broadband service still be active? The customer service people said its SOP.

Fast forward till nine months later… The outstanding amount is accumulating. Since I was still holding some deposit, I told Telekom Malaysia I would use the deposit to make partial payment (outstanding bill is more than the deposit). Again, I told them it is pointless to continue to charge for it since the tenant has left nine months ago… I was told the same thing — SOP. The service will be automatically terminated once the outstanding amount reaches a certain limit… Wait… I just made partial payment… So I asked them, does it mean now it will take Telekom Malaysia even longer to deactivate the account? The answer is — YES.

How silly can things get? I know that TMNet (Telekom Malaysia’s internet subsidiary) will sometimes issue a notice if you default payment just after two months. So how come this one can still go on after nine months? I suspect the notice is just notice and the limit is something like rm1000. So, if you wanna abuse their Silly Operating Procedure, you just need to sign up for the wireless access, which costs an extra rm10 which you will not pay anyway (this way, even after the phone service is terminated, you can access from their wireless nodes). Then don’t pay your bills. If you sign up for the rm66 per month unlimited package and add the rm10 per month for wireless access, you should be able to get 13 months of free internet. But of course, don’t blame me if you get blacklisted or this don’t work. But so far for that ex-tenant of mine, the service is still on!

Another case of Silly Standard Operating Procedure, this time with one of our local bank (this is also the bank that at one time said they will only deal with bumiputra companies for purchases, etc). It seems that to open a joint account in this bank, the relationship must either be parent-child, siblings or husband-wife (we are not talking about business accounts). And for husband and wife, you actually need to bring along your original marriage certificate! This is the first time I have heard if such thing. Banks are now charging service fees so I would expect them to be providing me with SERVICES not DIS-SERVICE! And I think our government’s effort to promote MyKad is definitely not working with LOCAL banks. This bank still requires us to fill up something like 2 sets of forms (that’s like 6-8 pages)…

Mrs Tai and I got annoyed and decided to walk down the block to another bank. We walked to the customer service counter and asked for the form. We also asked in advance if they needed to see our marriage certificate. They said there is no need for the certificate and there’s no form to complete. We just need to produce our MyKad… The process was impressive. The relevant information was extracted from MyKad and the details were then inserted into a form which was then printed out. All we needed to do was just sign! This is service we don’t mind paying. Shame on you, Maybank!

I just have to take another shot at Telekom Malaysia. I am sure many would have seen this advertisement before:

It’s written very clearly in the advertisement… “No fixed line rental*” with an ‘*’. How bad can the ‘*’ be? Look closely at the bottom and it says:

“Streamyx Combo monthly subscription fee is inclusive of monthly TM fixed line rental”. I must hand it to the marketing genius who came up with this… Is this actually legal — to claim NO fees and then say the fees are included (which actually means there are fees to pay)?